My Foodiversary

June 22 was the day that everything changed. Prior to that day, I ate no fruits or vegetables and stuck to my “safe” foods. But on June 22 as I sat at a table in Beijing, China, everything changed. The array of foods on the table ranged from pineapple to tofu, and I hardly recognized anything. In any other setting, I would have lied and said “no thanks, I already ate” but this situation was different. I tried everything on the table.

Since that day, my life has changed a lot. And since that day, I’ve been trying to pin-point exactly what it was that made it okay for me to try all of that food that day. I’ve narrowed it down to a combination of the following things:

1. In China, it’s common to serve food family style. Everything on the center of the table on a giant lazy susan for everyone to take what they would like. This aspect is what made me feel most comfortable trying new foods. Had I been given a plate that I was expected to eat everything from, I might have had a mini-meltdown. Instead, I was able to take what I wanted and eat it from my bowl without anyone else having a part in it.

2. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t known as “The Picky Eater”. Picky Eaters have it hard when it comes to labels. I used to hide behind my title of “The Pickiest Eater You’ll Ever Meet” because it gave me power when it came to food. I was embarrassed about my eating habits but I owned my title and it gave me some sort of control. But my label also held me back a lot. If I was considering trying something new with someone who know about my eating habits, they would (in support) cheer me on and watch intently as I tried it. Or, even worse, they would let me know that I wouldn’t like it before I even tried it. Neither of those are conducive to exploring new food in a safe way. For the first time, I was free of my title.

3. I was learning how to use chopsticks. Okay, this one isn’t as serious, but it really helped. I was so focused on getting the damn sticks sturdy enough to carry the food from my plate to my mouth that I was less concerned with the food. Distractions are helpful when it comes to trying new foods.
    

Tonight, I’ll be celebrating with some Chinese food. It’s important that you all know that Chinese food in America is very different than Chinese food in China. I still dream about my two favorite dishes -- eggplant and mushroom. Prior to my life-changing June 22nd, you couldn’t have paid me to say that sentence. Never forget that change is possible, no matter how impossible it seems.

Thanks for being on my journey with me. Cheers!

All Eyes On Me

One dinnertime when I was 6 years old, I agreed to try a baby carrot. Looking back, I'm surprised I agreed to it because I was very against trying any fruits or veggies. But that night, something in me agreed. And the moment I did, my parents were shocked. Thrilled! They stopped everything and got out the camera to document this momentous occasion. While I was smiling big for the camera with the carrot close to my face, a million thoughts rushed through my head... What if I don't like it? What if I throw up? What if I do like it? What if I love it and feel stupid for not trying it all this time? ... And as soon as the camera flashed, I had made my decision. That carrot was not going in my mouth. There was too much attention on me now. And that attention meant pressure. All eyes were on me and not in a good way.

A lot of kids love being in the spotlight. I certainly did. I wanted everyone watching anytime I was doing a cartwheel or jumping into the pool. But not when I was trying a new food. Every time someone cheered or commented on me trying a new food, I felt pressure. It's what built up a wall for me not wanting to try new foods. Be aware of the attention kids are getting when it comes to trying new food. Even if you have to pretend you're not looking, do what it takes for your child to feel room to explore on their own. But when it comes to cannonballs into the pool, make sure you're all eyes.

A short clip of me telling this story at a recent talk for parents of picky eaters in Needham, MA.

Everyone is Winning the Game They're Playing

An important part of the framework for coaching and positive changes is this:  Everyone is winning the game they're playing. Everyone is working perfectly to produce the results they're seeing. It makes so much sense, right? The past few weeks have been absolutely chaotic and everything has been crazy in my life. I found myself putting my priorities on the back-burner and justifying it because there were so many other things going on. Looking back, I was hiding from those priorities. I was afraid to confront them incase I failed. I won the game of being distracted. Honestly, I nailed it. 

Now that I've acknowledged my loss, I'm going to start round 1 of a new game. The game of success. I sat down and clarified exactly what that looks like for me. Now I know what I'm playing for, and if I score every metaphorical goal along the way, there's no chance I won't win.

If everyone is winning the game they're playing, what game would you like to play?

Silence Really Is Golden

Life is crazy. It's also really loud. Think about it, typically we listen to music or podcasts in our cars, are talking to people throughout the day, watch TV, listen to crying babies on the subway, check the latest YouTube videos, etc etc etc. Yesterday, on my traffic-y drive home, I was so frustrated with the same old songs on the radio and out of frustration I hit the power button. 

Silence.

It was so unfamiliar and calming that I wanted to share it with you. Sitting there with my thoughts was one of the most relaxing and present things I could have done in that moment. It gave me energy to get through the rest of my busy day. Next time you hear a song that you're even a little bit sick of on the radio, or you automatically go to turn on the TV, opt to shut it off completely. It's worth your sanity.